This was a hard book to read. It is one woman’s account of sexual assault and rape at an elite boarding school in New England. In it Crawford tries to answer the question, Why Now? which seems to be asked so often of women who come forward to reveal traumatic events that happened to them in the past. It is also an account of how the school systematically denied, covered up and repeatedly silenced her and her family and numerous others who were also assaulted, abused or raped, in order preserve the school’s reputation. Accounts like these should no longer be surprising since we they in the news over and over again, especially after the #MeToo movement, but I still found this account shocking and horrifying.

Lacy Crawford was lucky to get into St, Paul’s School. Her parents had pulled a few strings and she was admitted, even though her family were not from the elite or wealthy demographic from which the school mostly drew. It was a boarding school for the East Coast elite, the children of lawyers, politicians and the wealthy, so Lacy, who was from Chicago, was already a bit out of her element. But she managed to find a few other girls to hang out with, played sports and slowly settled in.

It is important to understand that it was the differential in status, and her relative naïveté which the young men who assaulted and raped her were counting on. It is also noteworthy that both young men had girlfreinds at the time they assaulted and raped Lacy, which gave them cover and swore her to secrecy, letting her know that no one would believe her over them. Yet through the school grapevine they let it be known that Lacy was a willing participant in the assault that occurred, damaging her reputation and alienating her from her friends and classmates.

Decades after her assault, the DA’s office handling an investigation into allegations of assault and sexual harassment at the school contacted Crawford to see if she would cooperate in its investigation. She agreed and in the the course of the investigation, she uncovers not only corroborative evidence of her assault and rape, but also facts showing that the school had known at the time that she had been assaulted and covered it up while hiding vital information from her and her parents.

Notes on a Silencing is a searing indictment of the school and those in authority who did nothing to protect her and chose instead to preserve their reputation above all else, even if it meant destroying a child. It is also a remarkable inquiry into the ways that gender, privilege and power are used to protect the guilty, while shame, guilt and threat of exposure are used to control and silence victims of sexual assault.

Crawford’s memoir is only one incident and yet we know there are many, many more. As I was reading this book I was reminded of the allegations against Brett Kavanaugh during his confirmation hearings. The allegations shared by Christine Blassey Ford are eerily similar to those enumerated in this book and the ways that Ford, was harrassed, shamed, and slandered even during those hearings was just another example of the many attempts to silence victims.

This is a hard book to read, but I think it may need to become mandatory reading if we truly want to begin to heal the past and change our culture to one that protects the vulnerable from those who prey on them.

Brenda’s Rating: *****(5 Out of 5 Stars)

Recommend this book to: Everyone

Book Study worthy? YES!

Read in ebook format.